Whew!
Finally.
The job I was waiting for abroad finnally issued my documents so, I’m blowin this popsicle stand!
I have healed a bunch from my heartbreak. Still stings and I think of him a lot but I have been doing better. I don’t check in on him (social media wise) as much as I did before.
It did hurt to see that when I returned to social media, we weren’t friends anymore. But what can I expect. I DID end our relations abruptly. The fact that I sent him letters probably helped him not want to continue as well.
Pro at destroying relationships…
But I wish him well and if we meet again, hope we can start over! If not…then it just wasn’t meant to be. No matter how much I destroyed the relationship on my side, if fate really wanted us to, we’d meet again. That’s my thought process.
I left the ball in his court and if he decides to pick it up again, then das dat! But I won’t be doing any more reaching out as I’ve said my piece.
As for future romances, I do want to be with someone but the thought of it is mostly unpleasant right now. Will talk to my therapist about relationship trauma before I decide to go out there again. IF I decide to. But honestly, I am finne being alone right now. Not interested in dating or making any more too too deep friendships. Especially if I’m going to be moving around a lot and we can’t hold a decent conversation unless we’re face to face.
I am happ(ier).
Let go of that love, new job and adventure, ready to start working on building my career.
Cause the lordt knows I’m tired of working for other people/ with other people (uness it’s in a freelance way/ I’m doing what I wanna do). I don’t want any more throw away jobs. I want to start my career now.
OOOOOO I really wanna have a career where I set my own hours and can work from anywhere.
Then, I’ll travel the world while doing what I want!
The thought makes me so excited and happy. I’m ready to stop running from my insecurities and what-ifs regarding doing what I wanna do.
BRUH I’m so ready to live alone too. While I have great housemates, we do things that rub each other the wrong way sometimes. Living alone, I don’t have to worry about rubbing anyone anywhere haha
Which begs the question…will I be able to get married and live with someone in the future if I feel this way now?
Welp.
Just live ya life yall.
From the less miserable, more hopeful/ determined potato gal.
