That guy? The one with a girlfriend?
Yeah, they broke up.
So…my feelings for him have exploded. Frickin great, right?
We have literally been talking every day all throughout the day. If I don’t message him, he messages me first. If we don’t message for a day, I go kinda nuts. Well not nuts but I’m like, “Where he be? What happened? Why we not talk?” That’s where I’m at….
Doesn’t help that he suggested we consistently do video calls. We decided on once a week. Mainly for language practice. However, our conversations end up being 5% language, 95% random shit.
We still kinda awkward but…I don’t know. It’s interesting. He’s cute too. I love that he’s awkward and random with me. However, I also feel like he might not be showing his true emotions/ hiding a deeper part of him. Which is ok? Don’t wanna force people to open up to me just cause I’m an open book, ya know?
I also wanna give him time to realize and feel his post breakup feelings. I don’t wanna push myself onto him right after that just happened. I also don’t wanna be a rebound of his where he thinks that cause we are good friends he wants to be with me so soon after ending his relationship. If that makes sense.
There’s also the problem of us not meeting in person. It’s been two years since I’ve known this guy. We only really started talking this summer. Almost every day, guys. I don’t even talk to my other friends or family members that often.
HE ALSO TRYNA GO TO THE SAME COUNTRY AS I AM AT THE SAME TIME. BRUH.
I feel like I’m in middle school again where I shoved my one-sided feelings down for whatever reason. I thought those days were over. I hate it.
Even if he is ready to move on, it may not be with me. Look at me, worrying about what has yet to happen.
I am really attracted to him and so wanna be with him. A little hesitant about saying that til we meet in person but so far…my heart…
To sum it up:
- I might be in love with someone who I might not genuinely click with/ who just broke up with someone
- I haven’t met the dude outside of video calls but I might be in love
- We probably shouldn’t be together/ I shouldn’t have feelings for him because of all the circumstances
So…why do I?